What happened to just calling people crazy, plain and simple?

Sometimes in life you feel like you've seen it all. After being a police officer you get a chance to see plenty of crazy things and people. But it always seemed like something new would come along to make you rethink that statement. Well after being paralyzed my eyes opened to a new world. I got to see people fighting to regain as much independence as possible. I have absolutely never heard anyone say they were destined to be in a wheelchair. I've never heard anyone say that they want to be paralyzed. Not until I saw this article posted on a friend's Facebook page today. I know there are several different labels for all kind of psychological problems these days. But what has happened to just plain old crazy? It doesn't take a psychologist to diagnose someone that isn't quite right in the head if you know what I mean.

I normally wouldn't write a reactionary blog entry to something like this, but it really bothered me. It actually surprises me that she was able to make it onto the Anderson Cooper show. I hope he brings on an actual paraplegic to talk about all of the life changes you have to go through. Something you have to be mentally tough to handle every day you wake up. I didn't even try to paraphrase this, because it's so unbelievable. I got this directly from the webpage. I am going to underline the information I got from the website for distinction. http://www.andersoncooper.com/2012/02/24/why-chloe-needlessly-spends-her-life-in-a-wheelchair/#ixzz1noHjOCdN

Why Chloe Needlessly Spends Her Life in a Wheelchair
Monday, February 27, 2012 5:08AM
Chloe joins "Anderson" to describe her Body Identity Integrity Disorder (BIID), a mental condition which has made Chloe believe she needs to spend her life in a wheelchair, despite having full use of her legs.
Chloe believes so passionately that her true self is a paraplegic… that she has even looked for doctors who will sever her spine so that she loses the function of both legs.
"For me this is like a temporary stopgap," Chloe says. "The only thing that will really make me happy in life is to actually be paraplegic."
Chloe says paraplegia will be the fulfillment of her lifetime dream to be completely who she was meant to be.
Take a look…


Now that you've watched the video I'm sure you understand the crazy part a little bit better. I cannot even begin to comprehend this so-called mental issue. He said it best when describing how many people in wheelchairs would love to be walking again. It is like a slap in the face. If you think your shocked now just wait until the next video. I'm going to show you another video and text directly from the website. Once again, I will underline all of the information directly from the website.http://www.andersoncooper.com/2012/02/24/chloe-tries-to-paralyze-herself-on-ski-trips/#ixzz1npGH5qa1"

Chloe Tries to Paralyze Herself on Ski Trips
Monday, February 27, 2012 2:04AM
Chloe, who suffers from Body Identity Integrity Disorder (BIID), says she has wished for nearly her entire life that she was a paraplegic, so much so that when she goes on ski trips, she intentionally gets into accidents in hopes of injuring her spine and paralyzing herself.
Chloe does have a small spinal injury, but she lives her day-to-day life in a wheelchair, which is not physically necessary, but is a result of her mental impulses telling her she belongs in one.
"[Because of my spinal injury], I was told by a surgeon that… if I go skiing again there was a high likelihood that I would re-injure and get complete paraplegia," Chloe says. "And so that's a huge motivation for me to ski very aggressively."
Hear more from Chloe about her hopes to become paraplegic in the video below.


Yes, Cooper she just actually said that to confirm that she is batshit crazy. This lady needs to be taken to the Shepherd Center in Atlanta to see what it's really like to be a paraplegic. She needs to meet people that are struggling to find help with simple tasks. She needs to see people that are struggling to regain any type of movement in their body below their injury level. You don't just get to choose that you become paraplegic. I am a quadriplegic. I can't use my hands. I can use my left arm well enough to be able to drive my wheelchair. I would love to just be able to move both arms and hands again. Obviously, her doctor needs to let her meet several people that are paralyzed.

Well that's about all I want to say about this woman. I really hope that Cooper Anderson decides to do a show with someone that is really paralyzed. I wish he would visit a spinal cord injury hospital, where you can find true heroes. The unfortunate part about television these days is that kind of thing doesn't get the ratings. We would rather watch somebody with this type of disorder. He should really focus on the new tools that are helping people rehabilitate. What about a show about all of the amazing technologies available to assist people that are disabled. If I ever see this woman again she better be running marathons to help support paralysis research or mental disorders. If Anderson won't, you can depend on me writing more about assistive technology. I might throw in another crazy person somewhere along the way ha ha. Leave a comment below and tell me what you think about all of this.

Back to business!

Well another year has passed by and it seems like it flew by way too quick. Here for the last few months I haven't had my priorities straight. It seems like forever since I have sat in front of this computer screen thinking of something to write about. I'm planning on getting back to blogging and I have several ideas to write about. So I decided I should talk about something I've been up to since the last time you've read my blog. If you've read any of my other blogs, you can tell I'm a huge football fan. So this past NFL regular-season I decided to finally play fantasy football. I had always heard so much about it but had no idea how it worked. Well let me just say for any guy it can become very addictive. So if you've never played before I'm going to explain how it works. I'll also go through exactly who I drafted and how the season turned out for me. I feel like I did pretty well for just my first year.

Fantasy football basically mimics the National Football League in many different ways. The first priority of the league is to draft players. The difference is the draft consists of players already in the NFL and the rookies that have signed on to their new teams. The draft occurs before the regular season begins. This usually gives you time to watch preseason football to find out more information about your players. This season was unique because the NFL was in the middle of a lockout. By the time they reached a final agreement the time for training camp was almost over. So basically the preseason games were the only way to scout your players. This also meant that most players didn't go through training camp and may not be in shape for the upcoming season. This also makes you take into consideration the possibility of injuries. Also during the lockout teams cannot make any official announcements about any player. So that meant you couldn't really find out anything about players that were injured.

So draft day finally arrives after much anticipation to begin my first fantasy football team. We had a 10 team league that we were going to split into two divisions. Names were drawn out of a hat to determine the draft order. I wound up with the 10th pick. Luckily the type of draft that we used was called a snake draft. That means that in the first round I would have the 10th pick but when the second round started I picked first. Every other round rotated from top to bottom and then bottom to top. It is really the only way that the draft could be fair, and even. If you're better at visually understanding like me then this graph will help you understand. I'm pretty sure the draft was 17 rounds but I only displayed 4 just to show how each round goes.

* I just used letters instead of actual names


Obviously with the first pick you get to choose one of the best players. You can also see that after that initial pick you have to wait until the very end of round two before choosing again. The first player that you pick should be the player that scores the most points for you. So the first two or three picks almost become the most important. After looking over the final records compared to the spot you pick each round it was hard to really show an advantage. I believe if you make very smart decisions with your available spot you can still have a good team.

There are a few different types of points leagues. We just used the standard points. The Commissioner of your league can also add in different ways to score more points. If you understand how the points work then it is easier to understand what fantasy football is all about. So this is the way the points worked for our league.

Passing
1 point for every 20 Passing Yards (0.05 per)
5 extra points when total Passing Yards is greater than or equal to 300
2 points for every 2 Pt Conversion Passing
4 points for every Passing TD
-2 points for every Interception

Rushing
1 point for every 10 Rushing Yards (0.1 per)
5 extra points when total Rushing Yards is greater than or equal to 100
2 points for every 2 Pt Conversion Rushing
6 points for every Rushing TD

Receiving
1 point for every 10 Receiving Yards (0.1 per)
5 extra points when total Receiving Yards is greater than or equal to 100
2 points for every 2 Pt Conversion Receiving
6 points for every Receiving TD

Kicking
3 points for every FG Made
1 point for every XP

Returning
6 points for every Kick Return TD
QB, RB, WR, TE, K
6 points for every Punt Return TD
QB, RB, WR, TE, K

Defense
2 points for every Interception
1 point for every Sack
2 points for every Fumble Recovered
4 points for every Safety
6 points for every Defensive TD
10 extra points when total Points Allowed is exactly 0

I drafted Philip Rivers as my quarterback. My first running back pick was Ray Rice. This is a score breakdown from the first week of my fantasy football season to show you how every stat counts during the games. It will help you better understand how the points work.

*Scoring Breakdown Philip Rivers MIN@SD Week 1 2011
1 point for every 20 Passing Yards (0.05 per) applied to 335 Passing Yards=16.75
5 extra points when total Passing Yards is greater than or equal to 300 applied to 335 Passing Yards=5
4 points for every Passing TD applied to 2 Passing TDs (Quantity)=8
-2 points for every Interception applied to 2 Interceptions=-4
1 point for every 10 Rushing Yards (0.1 per) applied to-3 Rushing Yards=-0.3
Total=25.45

*Scoring Breakdown Ray Rice PIT@BAL Week 1 2011
1 point for every 10 Rushing Yards (0.1 per) applied to 107 Rushing Yards=10.7
5 extra points when total Rushing Yards is greater than or equal to 100 applied to 107 Rushing Yards=5
6 points for every Rushing TD applied to 1 Rushing TD=6
1 point for every 10 Receiving Yards (0.1 per) applied to 42 Receiving Yards=4.2
6 points for every Receiving TD applied to 1 Receiving TD=6
Total=31.9

So now that you understand how the points work it is easier to explain how fantasy football works. First you have the draft. You select all of your players. You pick a defense by choosing a team. So any player on the defense can score points. You can pick your kicker closer to the end of the draft. You can also pick your defense later but certain defenses can score a lot of points each week. Then you will log on to whatever website your league is using to keep up with everything. We used the website www.fleaflicker.com which I thought was very easy to use. After the draft everybody's information was put into the website. You can also join a fantasy football league by going directly to the website I mentioned. You can find an open league that has not been set to private and click to join. You then select your players online in a draft that usually has a timer of about two minutes. We actually gathered around and selected our players in person. Then our Commissioner entered in the information. If you are a beginner this is a lot easier than drafting online. When you sign up online it is a very quick pace with little time to decide which player you want to pick.

Now I realize I need to explain how many players you are allowed to play each week. I'll also explain a little more about your backups.
Rosters
Roster Requirements
1 QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, 1 TE, 1 RB/WR/TE(flex), 1 K, 1 TM
Totals
17: 9 Starters, 8 Bench
*The roster requirement is basically your starting lineup for each week. You also have one flex player which you can see as 1 RB/WR/TE. That means you can have one extra RB,WR, or TE. You usually pick this depending on what extra players are the best. Most people usually either choose one extra RB or WR. Some of your players on the bench can end up being even better than some of the players you chose in the earlier rounds. That gives you a chance to substitute them in during the season. You also have backups in case of injury. Also teams have bye weeks which means they don't play that weekend. So you have to fill in those players on bye weeks. This also means you have to make sure your backup players don't all have the same bye weeks as your starters. If that happens you can also add and drop players each week. There are always free agents that were not selected during your draft. So let's say your kicker's team is on a bye week then you can drop him and just add another kicker if you don't have an extra kicker on the bench (which most teams usually only have one).

I spoke briefly about the free agency. It becomes very important throughout the season to find guys that were not picked that end up doing very well. One of my best pickups was Victor Cruz sometime early in the season. I want to show my original lineup and then the final lineup at week 16 to show you how different my team looked. Each week your team score of all your starting players are tabulated from Thursday night football until Monday night football. So at the end of Monday night your final score against a team you are playing is added together. Then you have all day Tuesday to look over your roster to make adjustments. So for instance if I have a backup that is not doing very well and I see someone like Victor Cruz putting up a lot of points then I can try to add him on my team. I would just cut the bad player on my bench to add the better player. Sometimes you have to make the risk and hope that player continues to do well. There are plenty of factors that you have to think about when you make each move. Then Wednesday your claim for a free agent is approved. Each week your waiver claim number for free agents will change. This means that if you have first priority and you claim someone you get your first choice of a free agent. If your waiver claim number is five you claim the player if the first four in front of you did not try to claim them.

Now finally I want to show a couple of lists and stats from my own fantasy team. This first list is just simply the original players that I drafted and that the exact order I drafted them.

1. Ray Rice RB BALTIMORE Ravens
2. Philip Rivers QB SAN DIEGO Chargers
3. Hakeem Nicks WR NEW YORK Giants
4. DeAngelo Williams RB CAROLINA Panthers
5. Santonio Holmes WR NEW YORK Jets
6. Anquan Boldin WR Baltimore Ravens
7. Marcedes Lewis TE JACKSONVILLE Jaguars
8. Jets defense
9. Fred Jackson RB BUFFALO Bills
10. Mark Sanchez QB NEW YORK Jets
11. Chad OchoCinco WR NEW ENGLAND Patriots
12. Jordy Nelson WR GREEN BAY Packers
13. Thomas Jones RB KANSAS CITY Chiefs
14. Michael Crabtree WR SAN FRANCISCO 49ers
15. Ben Watson CLEVELAND Browns
16. Billy Cundiff K BALTIMORE Ravens
17. Jacquizz Rodgers RB ATLANTA Falcons

now I want to show you my team from week one and their stats for the first week and the entire season

Starting lineup
QB Philip Rivers SD [v.MIN 335Yd 2TD 25.45 fantasy points] year stats 4,624Yd 28TD 340.8 total fantasy points 21.3 average points per game

RB Ray Rice BAL [v.PIT 107Yd 2TD 31.9 fantasy points] year stats 1,364Yd 16TD 330.65 total fantasy points 20.7 average points per game

RB DeAngelo Williams CAR [@ARI 30Yd 3.6 fantasy points] year stats 836Yd 7TD 144.1 total fantasy points 9 average points per game

RB(flex) Fred Jackson BUF [@KC 112Yd 16.7 fantasy points] year stats 934Yd 6TD 203.6 total fantasy points 20.4 average points per game

WR Hakeem Nicks NYG [@WAS 122Yd 17.2 fantasy points] year stats 1,192Yd 7TD 173.9 total fantasy points 11.6 average points per game

WR Chad Ochocinco NE [@MIA 14Yd 1.4 fantasy points] year stats 276Yd 1TD 33.6 total fantasy points 2.4 average points per game

TE Marcedes Lewis JAC [v.TEN 28Yd 2.8 fantasy points] 460Yd 46 total fantasy points 3.1 average points per game

K Lawrence Tynes NYG [@WAS 2/2 XP 2 fantasy points] year stats 19/24 FG 43/43 XP 100 total fantasy points 6.2 average points per game

DEF New York Jets NYJ [v.DAL 1TD 1INT 4Sack 16 fantasy points] year stats 4TD 19INT 35Sack 127 total fantasy points 7.9 average points per game

Bench
QB Mark Sanchez NYJ [v.DAL 335Yd 2TD 28.05 fantasy points] year stats 3,474Yd 32TD 303 total fantasy points 18.9 average points per game

RB Thomas Jones KC [v.BUF 3Yd 0.3 fantasy points] year stats 479Yd 52.2 total fantasy points 3.3 average points per game

RB Jacquizz Rodgers ATL [@CHI 33yd 3.3 fantasy points] year stats 205Yd 2TD 51.3 total fantasy points 3.2 average points per game

WR Jordy Nelson GB [v.NO 77Yd 1TD 13.7 fantasy points] year stats 1,263Yd 15TD 241.3 total fantasy points 15.1 average points per game

WR Michael Crabtree SF [v.SEA 4Yd 0.4 fantasy points] year stats 880Yd 4TD 119 total fantasy points 7.9 average points per game

WR Anquan Boldin BAL [v.PIT 74Yd 1TD 13.4 fantasy points] year stats 887Yd 3TD 116.7 total fantasy points 8.3 average points per game

WR Santonio Holmes NYJ [v.DAL 70Yd 7 fantasy points] year stats 654Yd 8TD 116.1 total fantasy points 7.3 average points per game

TE Lance Kendricks STL [v.PHI 18Yd 1.8 fantasy points] year stats 352Yd 34.4 total fantasy points 2.3 average points per game

Now I will show you my team from the very last week of the season. I'll also show their season stats to compare. It really gives you an idea of how much your team changes over the course of the season.

Starting lineup
QB Mark Sanchez NYJ [v.NYG 258Yd 2TD 20.2 fantasy points] year stats 3,474Yd 32TD 303 total fantasy points 18.9 average points per game

RB Ray Rice BAL [v.CLE 87Yd 1TD 19.5 fantasy points] year stats 1,364Yd 16TD 330.65 total fantasy points 20.7 average points per game

RB Ryan Grant GB [v.CHI 44Yd 7.8 fantasy points] year stats 559Yd 3TD 100.7 total fantasy points 6.7 average points per game

WR Jordy Nelson GB [v.CHI 115Yd 2TD 28.5 fantasy points] year stats 1,263Yd 15TD 241.3 total fantasy points 15.1 average points per game

WR Hakeem Nicks NYG [@NYJ 20Yd 2 fantasy points] year stats 1,192Yd 7TD 173.9 total fantasy points 11.6 average points per game

WR(flex) Percy Harvin MIN [@WAS 65Yd 1TD 16.4 fantasy points] year stats 967Yd 9TD 194.9 total fantasy points 12.2 average points per game

TE Jermaine Gresham CIN [v.ARI 56Yd 1TD 11.6 fantasy points] year stats 596Yd 6TD 95.6 total fantasy points 6.8 average points per game

K John Kasay NO [v.ATL 1/1FG 6/6XP 9 fantasy points] year stats 28/34 FG 63/63 XP 147 total fantasy points 9.2 average points per game

DEF New York Jets NYJ [v.NYG 1INT 2Sack 4 fantasy points] year stats 4TD 19INT 35Sack 127 total fantasy points 7.9 average points per game

Bench
QB Philip Rivers SD [@DET 299Yd 1TD 14.95 fantasy points] year stats 4,624Yd 28TD 340.8 total fantasy points 21.3 average points per game

RB Fred Jackson BUF [v.DEN 0 fantasy points]*injured year stats 934Yd 6TD 203.6 total fantasy points 20.4 average points per game

RB Donald Brown IND [v.HOU 35Yd 4.8 fantasy points] year stats 645Yd 5TD 108.1 total fantasy points 9 average points per game

RB Toby Gerhart MIN [@WAS 109Yd 15.9 fantasy points] year stats 531Yd 4TD 101.1 total fantasy points 6.7 average points per game

RB Mark Ingram NO [v.ATL 0 fantasy points]*injured year stats 474Yd 5TD 82 total fantasy points 8.2 average points per game

WR Victor Cruz NYG [@NYJ 164Yd 1TD 27.4 fantasy points] year stats 1,536Yd 9TD 242.9 total fantasy points 15.2 average points per game

WR Nate Washington TEN [v.JAC 71Yd 7.1 fantasy points] year stats 1,023Yd 8TD 160.8 total fantasy points 10.1 average points per game

WR Santonio Holmes NYJ [v.NYG 50Yd 4.9 fantasy points] year stats 654Yd 8TD 116.1 total fantasy points 7.3 average points per game

The reason I wanted to show you the two different starting lineups from beginning to end is to point out the major difference in the players. You start out drafting 17 but may only end up with about seven that you originally drafted. One example is DeAngelo Williams. I picked him early because he was predicted to have a great year this year. As you can tell by looking at his stats they were low compared to other running backs. He only averaged 9 fantasy points a game compared to Fred Jackson (ninth round pick), who averaged 20.4 fantasy points a game. So you can see where you make mistakes in your draft. Not every player pans out the way you think.

Also, you can learn a lot just by studying the stats of each position. For instance I can also point out times that you make certain decisions choosing your lineup each week. If you look at my team from the first week you will notice that Mark Sanchez actually scored a couple extra points more than Philip Rivers. So you can see sometimes the obvious choice isn't always the best. Also if you look back at the scoring rules then you will notice the -2 points for every interception. Well for the season, Philip Rivers had 28 TD's and 20 interceptions. That's -40 points that I lost throughout the season. And there will be weeks where you need every point you can get because sometimes winning or losing comes down to 1 point. So another word of advice when choosing your starting lineups is to make sure to focus on which team you're player will be going against. For example, you may have a great RB that is going against the number one rush defense in the league. So you may want to start your other RB that is decent playing against a defense that is not so good against the run. Sometimes it is tough to bench your better players. You also have the possibility of that strategy backfiring and the player having an excellent game. That is just a crazy part about fantasy football. You're also able to change your lineup up until the game starts with each player. After the game begins your players are locked in and you can't make any more changes.

Looking back over my starting roster from the first week I can quickly tell the mistakes I made in the draft. I thought DeAngelo Williams would be a lot better this past year. He only averaged 9 points a game, which is very low for a running back. I picked Chad OchoCinco because I thought he would do great with Tom Brady. He only ended up with 33.6 total fantasy points for the year. Some players can almost score that many points in one game. I also thought Marcedes Lewis was one of the better TE’s in the league. He ended up getting injured, and only scored 46 fantasy points for the season. I had several people on the bench that were not very good as well. Thomas Jones was the backup running back at Kansas City. Even after Jamaal Charles was injured he still wasn't a very good fantasy RB. My last pick of the draft was Jacquizz Rodgers from Oregon State. I was hoping he might come in and surprise some people, but Michael Turner was the featured back in Atlanta. I took a chance on Michael Crabtree and he was injured most of the season. I traded Anquan Boldin after a few games of the season. I really thought Santonio Holmes would be a lot better in his second year with the Jets. He was very up-and-down the whole season. That's another part of fantasy football. You have no idea that certain teams will struggle, and therefore hurt your player’s chance of doing well.

I was happy that my final record was at least over .500%. My final win loss record was 7-6. I needed a couple wins in my division toward the end of the season to make the playoffs but didn't get them. I also had the fourth highest overall points out of 10. This was the top five in scoring: 1. 1,575.7 2. 1,468.25 3. 1,465.95 4. 1,461.85 5. 1,343.3 . The top four teams from the entire league make it to the playoffs. I believe I was number six. Luckily, we had a consolation playoff for the next four teams to play for the number one pick for this year’s draft. The last two teams were done after the regular season ended. I really like that set up because it gives the teams that are out of the playoffs a good reason to keep trying. I won my first game of the consolation playoff. Then I lost the game for the number one pick. So I'm not sure where I will pick this coming up fantasy football league.

So after the season was over I remembered there was a show called the league. I was pretty sure it was about fantasy football. I happen to have Netflix, with the web streaming instant watch feature. I found the first two seasons of the league on Netflix. You're not really going to learn too much about fantasy football by watching it, but the show is hilarious. It comes on at FX but I'm not sure what time. Here is a link to the show's website. the league. I also added a couple of videos from YouTube. You will see what the show is like after watching the selection of the draft order ha ha.




(commercial for the premiere).

I could go into so much more about fantasy football but I think I have given a general idea of how it works. If you are a football fanatic like I am then you realize football season really never ends. I've been watching some of the Scouting combine this weekend for the upcoming NFL draft. RG III could quite possibly be the Cam Newton from last year. There are other rookies that could turn out to be surprise fantasy football studs. If you've never played fantasy football, give it a shot. It can be very addictive. You will start to watch games and cheer on certain players during the game. You might yell at the TV for your running back to get the touchdown instead of the quarterback throwing for one. It gets very competitive as well. There are plenty of sources on the Internet to find out as much information as possible. You can always check out ESPN and look at their fantasy football page. You can also learn a lot by studying the points. It will help you figure out which players you should draft. If you're interested get a group of people you know together and start your own league. You might be able to get other beginners to play with so that you can all learn at the same time. Football season will be back before you know it!

Comments are very much appreciated. Next blog coming soon!

The last dress

Saturday, October 22 started out just like any other Saturday for me. Ole Miss was playing Arkansas in Oxford at 11:21 AM. It was another SEC game in the middle of a terrible season for Ole Miss. I got up early and made my way to the stadium. A few hours later I made my way back home after seeing my team lose again. As terrible as we have played here lately that wasn't really shocking. I thought the rest of the day would be spent just watching football. As soon as we got home my dad told me the family was called in and my grandmother wasn't going to make it very much longer. I knew that she had not been doing very well but was very shocked about hearing this. I guess I should have known that it was coming, but you are never prepared for it when it happens. She had dementia for the longest time which to me is just another word for Alzheimer's. It was my mom's mother and she had made her way to the nursing home. At this point I just got completely quiet and didn't really know what to say. I wanted to go to the nursing home to be there for my mom but at the same time I didn't want to see my grandmother pass away. I believe a big part of that has to do with my accident. I was in the hospital for several months and it's been very hard for me to visit anybody in the same position. I have been to the hospital to visit with family of a friend of mine but I never went into the room. I had so many emotions going on that I felt that I need to write about this to get it out. At the top of my blog entry it says that I will give you a look inside my mind. This is something that will definitely give you a chance to do that.

One of the first immediate emotions that I had was regret. I had several opportunities to go visit my grandmother with my mom and decided not to because she was at the nursing home. She had not been doing too well and I just hate nursing homes. Which is absolutely no excuse. I do vividly remember one of the last times my grandmother came to see me at my house. For the longest time we had to yell everything that we said to her because her hearing had gotten very bad. She also had gotten to the point to where she couldn't see very well at all either. One of the things I remember her telling me was well I can't see you very well or hear you but I still love you. I told her that I loved her too and I could tell that it bothered her that I was paralyzed. Some people don't even have to tell me I can just sense it. At this time she was still living in her trailer in Pontotoc. I wasn't able to get into her house at that time. My regret was not the only emotion I was feeling at the time. I was upset that my grandmother had passed away. I also immediately started to think about my mom. It is very hard to imagine losing your mother, and how you will deal with it. Also at the same time her death also came with a sense of peace and relief for my grandmother. Her Alzheimer's had gotten so bad that she wasn't eating anymore, and her quality of life was very low. At that point, you just don't want to see somebody you love suffer anymore.

Another thing going through my mind was the fact that I no longer had any grandparents. My grandfather on my dad's side died before I was even born. My grandfather on my moms side had also passed away before I was born. My grandmother on my dad's side had moved to Statesboro Georgia which is very close to the East Coast. I was able to see her a few times when I had gotten older before she passed away several years ago. So my grandmother Mildred Duke was my last living grandparent. For most of my life she had lived in the Delta. She always came to visit us , because I really don't remember going to the Delta to visit. I've been trying to remember the name of the small-town that she was living in but can think of it. I remember when she was getting older and she didn't have anybody (family) living close to her in the Delta so she decided to move closer to Pontotoc. I'm not sure if she decided that or if my mom helped to talk her into moving closer to everyone. I remember making the trip to the Delta with my mom in a U-Haul truck to help her move. It is funny to think back on it now because it was almost like an episode of American pickers. We were trying to load as much of the bigger stuff that we could and trying to leave out some stuff that we did not think that she really needed. But some of the things we sometimes look at as junk are other people's treasures. My mom would try to tell me not to worry about something in particular,but my grandmother would come along behind her saying not to forget this ha ha. At the time I didn't respect that as much as I do now. You realize that some people collect stuff over the years and it's hard to get rid of it. But in no way am I saying she was anything compared to a hoarder. Now it is funny because my dad is the same way. I think I also inherited from him and my grandmother. I find myself not wanting to get rid of things because of sentimental value. But we finally got it loaded and the U-Haul was packed tight.

There's really not much to the Delta, but my grandmother loved it out there. Once you get to a certain point it is nothing but flat land and fields as for as you can see. Mosquitoes are big enough to carry you away out there as well ha ha. Now that I think about it she also loved to quilt. I'm guessing that is a great way to pass time in the Delta. We still have some of those that she made for us when we were younger. I wish that I would've been a lot older and been able to spend time with her in the Delta. I would have been more mature and a lot more patient. When you are a kid you always have your mind on so many other things. Which I believe I've always been mature for my age even when I was younger but you don't think about some serious stuff. Just looking back I didn't really get a chance to be as close to my grandmother as I would've liked. Time is really something we should all think about. What are we doing with all of our time? Sometimes in life we get so busy that we fail to spend some quality time with the people that we love the most. I know that someone is probably reading this thinking about how this is a lot of rambling. I just had so many different thoughts going through my head that I wanted to get them all out. I'm sure you've experienced a point whenever you want to write about something but your thoughts get mixed up. Then you have a hard time putting it all in order. I feel like that is the way that life goes sometimes. Every day you wake up with plans to make something happen and you get distracted. It reminds me of the saying life is what happens while you are making plans.

I believe that is the way my grandmother was a lot of her life. She never knew how certain things were going to work out but she just kept moving along. She made a place her home and was always on the move. My mother was born in Arkansas. But when they were younger they moved to Mobile Alabama. She lived there for a portion of her life until they moved to the Pontotoc area. Then my grandmother got remarried again and moved to the Delta. No matter where she lived she was always on the road. I remember her going on a few vacations with us to Florida. We would always stop in Mobile Alabama to visit my uncle William. I guess the main point I'm trying to get across she loved to travel. I just thought of something funny, while I was writing. I remember getting on to the Natchez trace to go somewhere one day and we passed my grandmother with her husband. I can't remember if she even had a cell phone back then or we somehow flagged her down. They had been coming from somewhere in the Delta. My mom asked well were you just going to pass through and not stop by to see anybody. They were headed somewhere to sell something they had been collecting and that's all they had on their mind ha ha. That was something I failed to mention earlier. My grandmother's husband passed away and she was living by herself in the Delta. That was another reason she needed to move closer to family. Once she moved here her health started to deteriorate over time. She had gotten to the point where she couldn't drive anymore. Her car was actually broken down and just sat in the driveway basically so anybody coming along thought there were somebody home. I truly believe when we get to a point to where we are no longer mobile it begins to take a toll. There is something really precious about independence. Especially with someone who was always getting out. In a way you could almost compare home to becoming a prison somewhat metaphorically. Except you're just not always confined their whenever you have someone to get you out. And you also get to a point where home is so familiar it is a safe place to be. My grandmother's vision had gotten bad but she was still able to make her way around her house because she was familiar with it. I truly believe there should be some type of study done to show quality of life after you're not able to drive anymore. You could focus on the different psychological effects. If you really think about it some time sitting around with nothing to do in your house can seem like an eternity. This really gives you something to think about when you're on the go and you may know someone that's not able to get out on their own anymore. I'm not at all trying to say that nobody took her anywhere or anything like that. It is just something really different about being at the mercy of other people to take you anywhere. Which I'm speaking of my situation as well so I understand what it's like. I even think a lot about having the ability to drive again, and how much more I could get out. That's something else I haven't thought about until now. Maybe my job as a police officer always being on the road was appealing to me because I inherited that from my grandmother.

It's amazing how much you can learn about yourself while writing. I've started to realize some things that I've never really thought about before that I've gained from my family. I know by this point someone is questioning the title of this entry. Well let me get to that point. The day after my grandmother passed away my mom was very busy helping with the arrangements. Well one time before she left the house she said she had to go shopping for a dress. She was actually going to get the dress for my grandmother. I just really started to think about the emotions and the thoughts going through your mind while having to do this. Maybe with everything else going on the thought never crossed her mind. Really, the more I think about it the less significant it really becomes. But it is also very important to women on how you think they look. I remember shopping with my ex while she tried on dresses. She always came out and wanted to know what I thought about it. I never understood because I wasn't a fashion expert or anything. But it really did matter to her what my opinion was, regardless. I think the significance of the dress came through even more at the visitation. My grandmother was wearing a light-colored purple buttoned longsleeved dress coat. I realized that my mom also had on a purple dress shirt but not the same style. At that moment, I just began to think about how much my mom means to me. She has been by my side since the day of my accident. It also gave me an eerie feeling for a moment that I don't even want to talk further about. I could also write an entire blog about how special my mom is to me. I plan on doing that one day as well. I have always truly believed that the small things are sometimes the most important in your life. I guess that's why some of the smallest details stood out to me so much.

Once the funeral started they started to play a few songs. Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I think everyone knows that song even if they've never stepped foot in a church. I was sitting at the very front right beside my parents. I just stared at the casket with a million thoughts going through my mind. The casket was white with pink roses drawn in on certain parts of it. There was a beautiful set of pink roses on top of the casket. It almost felt like I was struggling for breath. They started to play an old Indian song without any words. I had almost forgotten that my grandmother was part Indian. If you ever met her it was very easy to tell because of her natural tan color that she had. It really stuck out in my mind because I had just seen my grandmother for the last time and she was very pale. It really makes you realize how much more there is to your body. When I was looking it was really not my grandmother but her body that she had left behind. Her soul and her spirit had already left a couple of days ago. She was experiencing something that our human mind has trouble comprehending. I'd like to imagine that she was driving again on her way home to a place that is so amazing and perfect knowing she never had to leave. On the way she could see and hear better than she ever had her entire life. And on the ride there were sites to see that were more beautiful than any sunset in any part of this world. Better than any change of the year whether spring or fall. Even greater than the tallest mountain or the most beautiful ocean view. I also hope that she knows that she has inspired me. I know that she always believed in me. I want to write more. I want to learn a lot more. I also want to prove to not just myself but everyone else there is a great reason that I'm still here today. I want to do everything possible that I can do so that when I see her again one day she can greet me with pride.

I know there was some rambling along the way and a lot of the writing is not in perfect order. But I hope that while you're reading this you're thinking about the people that you cherish in your life today. If you are having some problems within your family over something that is very petty get it fixed today. I am a living testament to the fact that life can be taken away in minutes because not everybody is as lucky as I was. I'm not saying I want you to start thinking about the end of your life or worry about dieng. I want you to think about what your life is like right now. Who is that person that you need to call and tell them you love them. And if your parents or grandparents have passed away then think about the good times that you had with them. You might also realize just how much similarities that you now have with them as well. Even though you always say you won't end up like your parents ha ha. And lastly, I appreciate you taking your time to read my blog entry about my grandmother. I also want to thank you in advance for any comments you may leave on the blog.

Necessity is the mother of invention.

I really believe in the ability to adapt and overcome to any type of situation. This is one of the reasons I love technology so much these days. A lot of things have allowed me to continue doing simple task that we all take for granted. I have mentioned before that I would like to write about some different forms of assistive technology. Well this is something that I have come across to actually allow people to keep up with me. I believe that you can define assistive technology as something that makes life easier for those around you and yourself. I am always researching little gadgets that can make my life a lot easier. One of my favorite websites to check out is the Christopher and Dana Reeve foundation, which is www.christopherreeve.org. While I was looking through their gift guide I came across this neat device that attaches to the back of your wheelchair to allow someone to roll along behind your wheelchair. One of the reasons why I wanted to share this with everyone is to help make it easier for someone that is following around a wheelchair all day. Being in a power wheelchair you will forget just how much walking around the other person is doing. Which some of us would say don't complain about being able to walk but we do have to remember that some of those people have to take care of you later that night. Especially after a long day of being out.

Well this is exactly what happened to one older couple. The lady that came up with this device explains the situation on the about us page of the website www.thecareeon.com. I will quickly paraphrase how she came up with the idea. She starts out by saying that her husband has used a motorized wheelchair for two decades. She goes on to say the longer he had the wheelchair, the faster he would go. That also allowed him to get back outside and travel around more. While he was getting around faster she was not able to keep up with him. She also had a history of foot and ankle problems. So one day after being at the mall for a long time her husband noticed she was in a lot of pain trying to keep up. They both discuss the problem, and she had a solution. She came up with a plate to attach to the wheelchair that wouldn't add any extra weight directly to the chair. After that they were able to do more stuff than even before. After several people started asking about it while they were out they decided to start making them for everyone.

If you know of anybody that's having problems keeping up with someone in a wheelchair then this is perfect for them. Once again you should check out the website www.thecareeon.com. They have a number that you can call and make sure the device will work with your chair. They also can paint the plate any color that you would like. I added the video below so you can watch one in action.

College football in Oxford, Mississippi!

My absolute favorite sport to watch is football. There is nothing better than spending a day in the south watching your favorite college football team. My favorite team has always been the Ole Miss Rebels. I have been an Ole Miss fan my entire life. Yes, even as a baby I was cheering on the rebels ha ha. The University of Mississippi (Ole Miss) is also my alma mater. If you are into tailgating there is no greater place than the Grove in the center of campus. It has been ranked as one of the top places in the country to tailgate by several different sports publications. It is about a 10 acre area filled with oak and magnolia trees. It is also covered with pathways to walk. The football season has started once again. I have season tickets and made it to the game this past Saturday, September 3. I just want to go through my usual experience on fall Saturdays in Oxford, Mississippi.

I found a video that chronologically went through the day of the football game this past Saturday. When I saw that it made me want to write about my personal experience as a fan. The game was at 3:45 PM. I got up early that morning to head to the grove before noon. We ended up parking in the ADA lot which is a pretty good distance from the grove. They have a handicapped shuttle, which would be more convenient for my brother than myself, but we arrived before they started the service. So it was a long walk (roll) for me and my brother. We carried food along the way to add to the food awaiting us at the tent that was set up by one of my brothers friends family. We finally found them in a sea of red and white tents that were set up in the circle which is right across from the grove. They had a TV set up watching other SEC football games just as many other people do. We actually watched as Auburn struggled against Utah State. Everyone also socialized and talked to people that they had not seen for a long time. We discussed what we thought our team would be like this year after struggling last year. After eating a little something for breakfast I was finally getting hungry. I enjoyed some chicken tenders and several other finger foods that were delicious. By that time it was getting close for the team to walk through the grove on the way to the stadium.

The team has a tradition of walking through the grove underneath an arch that says walk of champions a little over two hours prior to the game. The walk way is covered with fans on both sides for as far as you can see. I headed over toward the pathway to greet the players on their way to the stadium. I try my best to pump up the team on their way to the stadium ha ha. Usually when the weather is colder I don't make it to the games this early to make it in time when the players walked through. Actually this was my first time since I've been injured that I made it to the walk of champions. I noticed whenever we got closer that this was one of the largest crowds that I had seen gathered around the walkway. It extended much further than I can ever remember. I finally made it on down pretty far with everyone clearing a path for me. Then the team finally made it through lead by the head coach. So I did a little fist bump with the players and headed back to the grove.

After a little more socializing we finished up the Auburn game. Auburn was finally able to come back in the game to beat Utah State. Then I made my way over to the stadium. I always like to be there early and they were supposed to have some new videos up this year. The day was actually overcast and a little bit cooler but it was still very humid. I had drank several bottles of water before the game even started ha ha. My seats are in the south end zone at the top (which I bring my own seat to the games ha ha). We use the elevator to get up to the top and I always pull up to the rail to the right of the goalpost. The view is very high up but it's not too bad. I really enjoy the view of the entire stadium and the large screen that we have. The band finally makes it to the stadium and they have been moved close to our section in the south end zone. Before the game starts we had two Navy jets that did a flyover. We have had several of those over the years. It is a sight to see. Before the pregame clock hits zero there is always a celebrity that comes onto the screen. They always end up saying are you ready? This begins the hotty toddy cheer that we are famous for which we respond. Hell yeah! Damn right! Hotty Toddy gosh almighty who the hell are we? Flim flam Bim bam Ole Miss by damn! The celebrity for this week was Jack Black. He did a decent job.

I don't want to recap the whole game but we played tough until the end. We had some missed opportunities to win the game but was unable to pull it off. BYU ended up winning the game 14 to 13. By the end of the game the humidity had just about killed me. I definitely kept myself hydrated throughout the whole game or it would've been bad. Also a cheap little spray bottle with a fan that I bought from Wal-Mart made a world of difference ha ha. We made our way back to the parking lot where we sat in traffic for an hour just to get out of the parking lot. Luckily I only live about 45 minutes from Oxford so it's not a bad drive back home. No matter win or lose I still love my team. I'll be back out there tomorrow cheering them on again.

I could've went into so much more detail of the campus and the game day experience. I just really wanted to give you a picture of my experience, every week. I also want to set up the video. You will see the fans that start setting up their tents the night before the game. You will see the players walk through the large crowd surrounding the walk of champions all the way through the grove. Then you will see the stadium from this game until it's over. It is a great video and my words don't really do it any justice. So I hope you enjoy!

Game day in Oxford Mississippi from scottburtonphotography on Vimeo.

A simple test to enjoy

This is a nice little mini tour of the Ole Miss campus. I'm eventually going to write a couple of blogs about my alma mater. I'm really just using this as a test of my embedding skills from Vimeo. I hope everyone enjoys.

Ole Miss Mini Tour from UM Media Documentary Projects on Vimeo.

Wonderful surprise!

If you haven't read my blog about the sip and puff gun mount then you should check it out before you read this to have a better understanding of how it works. It was very obvious that several people from the police department read my blog about it. Earlier this month, I was invited out to the firing range for a supposed law enforcement Association meeting. I had no idea what was really going on, until I got there. I just want to briefly explain my big surprise and thank everyone that made it happen.

One of my really good friends Zach White asked me if I wanted him to come pick me up and bring me to Oxford one day. I love going to Oxford any chance that I get so I was up for it. For those of you that don't know we both went through the academy together. Zach was also there when I had my accident, and rode with me in the ambulance to the hospital. I told him a while back that I hardly ever got the chance to just ride around Oxford and see everything that has changed. I also found out I was going to get my football season tickets to Ole Miss out at the range that day. I was really excited about picking up my tickets early.

So we make it over to Oxford and we rode around checking out all the new places on the west side of town. I used to work the west side of town so I was really anxious to see all the changes. While we were checking out new places I decided to check out a place called Kinnucan's. I had never been to one before, and the stop came in handy. It was a very hot and humid day at the beginning of August in Mississippi. I could hardly stand to be outside very long that day. So I bought a bandanna with a certain material that helps to keep you cool. By the time we were leaving it was getting time to head out to the range. They were having food and the Association were all there to eat. The firing range is way out in the middle of nowhere in the county ha ha. I kind of wondered why they were meeting up out there, but didn't give it much thought.

We started to pull up to the firing range and I notice a new Mustang pulling in just exactly like the one that Zach had just bought. I just saw it for the first time whenever he picked me up earlier that day. I said to him, who else has a car like yours. He just acted funny and said I don't know. Once we got to the training building I saw my parents getting out of the Mustang. Also, my red Chevrolet pickup that I drove before my injury was pulled in front of the building. My brother was opening the door and getting out of my truck whenever we pulled up. I knew something was up at that moment but I still wasn't sure exactly what it was.  It was a surreal moment seeing my truck parked in the front of the training building again. It brought back some good memories. I thought about being back in school and taking a firearms class one weekend. I also remember being in the classroom learning about our new Glocks after finally getting rid of our Sig 357's. Then we went out to qualify with them. What a smooth transition that turned out to be. If you were there before the transition then you should give another pat on the back to Chief Martin ha ha.

So whenever I made it inside there were several people there that I wasn't even expecting. Katherine Evans was out there, and she was supposed to meet me later to go out to eat in town. So I thought it was funny that she was there. Heather Samuels and her husband Matt were there with their new baby. I was surprised that they were there for just a law Association meeting. So things were adding up in my mind, but I had no idea what exactly was going to happen. Zach disappeared to the back after we got there. So I got something to eat, and my mom fed me. I just ate and didn't even ask what they were doing there. Finally after I finished eating Josh Ivy stood up and started talking. He started saying that everybody knew why we were here, except for me. He said after reading my blog that they did a fundraiser and raised money to purchase a sip and puff gun mount for me. Then Zach came from the back with Hildon and David Sabin (a couple of other good friends of mine that worked with me) with the gun mount. I just couldn't believe they had done that for me. It was the first time in a long time that I've been speechless ha ha. They also had my Glock that I carried on duty to put in the mount. I do have to admit that I started crying for a minute, because it was overwhelming. It just means a lot when you have a lot of people that care about you so much. This was something I wanted for a long time but it was just a little too expensive for me to justify buying it for a while. Like I said in my earlier post about the sip and puff gun mount I got to use one at the Shepherd Center. That really made me want one pretty bad.

So I was the first one heading back out to the range to get set up for me to shoot. I was rolling along with Aric Stratton and I was going full speed ha ha.  I finally got on the new concrete and stopped to face my target while they started to set everything up. This was the first time I was back on the range to shoot since my accident happened over three years ago. Johnny Sneed helped to get everything set up. He actually used his truck to hook up to the battery cables to operate the gun mount. I think what made everything even better was being out on the range with all of the officers that I used to work with again. It was almost like I was qualifying to carry my gun again ha ha. It was finally set up and I went through one magazine. My first couple of shots were a little bit off but I got everything lined up and had a good group. it was just a great day overall. The weather was perfect while I was shooting. It had actually cooled off enough to be able to stand being outside. Everything just seemed to come together great.

My main purpose of this entry was to explain my experience. I also want to thank everyone that was involved with making this happen. If I left your name out it was not intentional. Over the next several days I started to think back about some things that happened. Josh Ivy had contacted me about a month earlier about doing a fundraiser for me. He told me that my blog had inspired just about everyone at the police department. He said that everyone wanted to do something for me. I thought about it for several days and finally told him I couldn't do it. I feel so blessed with everything that I have that I didn't feel like I needed anything else. I felt like everyone had done enough for me right after my injury. So that was one thing that made me cry whenever I got the mount. I was already blessed and I received something without asking for it. It was one of the reasons it was such a big surprise. It showed me how much everyone really thought of me. I also want to thank everyone for reading my blog. I haven't been writing as much lately, but I will try to make up for that. Enjoy the pictures from the day and a couple of videos of me getting to shoot again!

getting everything set up with Elizabeth and her boyfriend Josh in the background and my mom on the right

our temporary battery connection using Johnny's truck

ladies covering their ears already

close up of the jumper cables

lined up on my target

dry firing to test the trigger mechanism with Zach, Sabin, and my dad looking on

Stratton on the right waiting to watch

my good friend Hildon

Zach, Josh, Katherine

my spotter Johnny a.k.a. big sexy

the end result